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Medium Is The Message or Long Live The New Flesh

Videodrome
David Cronenberg, 1983

Marshall McLuhan was a fascinating intellectual. He was also a scholar and philosopher who focused nearly all of his attention to the ways in which media does a great deal more than inform, sell or entertain. Almost 30 years before it was created, McLuhan predicted the concept of a “global village” or and electronic means of communication. In other words, the Canadian Media Theory Philosopher predicted what we now call The Internet.

If you are unfamiliar with the ideas put forward by McLuhan, here are a few quotes that highlight his ideas about the impact of media:

“In this electronic age we see ourselves being translated more and more into the form of information, moving toward the technological extension of consciousness.”

“Ideally, advertising aims at the goal of a programmed harmony among all human impulses and aspirations and endeavors. Using handicraft methods, it stretches out toward the ultimate electronic goal of a collective consciousness.”

Marshall McLuhan
circa 1970
Photographer | Unknown to me

“One of the effects of living with electric information is that we live habitually in a state of information overload. There’s always more than you can cope with.”

“Societies have always been shaped more by the nature of the media by which men communicate than by the content of the communication.”

“The medium is the message. This is merely to say that the personal and social consequences of any medium – that is, of any extension of ourselves – result from the new scale that is introduced into our affairs by each extension of ourselves, or by any new technology.”

McLuhan emerged as much a critic of media as he was in awe of a power that most could not see or simply seemed to to fully grasp. While “the medium is the message,” that message is continually elevating to newer and more invasive ways.

The Medium is the Massage: An Inventory of Effects
Marshall McLuhan, 1967 Graphic Design |Quentin Fiore

The continual evolution of medium’s technology is quickly escalating in it’s strength. Humankind is being manipulated in ways beyond the imagination. Individuality was / is losing ground. Is giving way to a formation of something more than “human” in the way we define ourselves.

“In this electronic age we see ourselves being translated more and more into the form of information, moving toward the technological extension of consciousness.” Marshall McLuhan

Marshall McLuhan’s ideas, theories, opinions and assertions are almost frightening in the ways one can chart the truth of what he stated in his lifetime. This great thinker died in 1980, yet his ideas remain alive and valid. To say he was ahead of the cultural curve would be an understatement.

As a Media Theorist, he had a great interest in television and motion pictures. Or, rather, an interest into what was actually being conveyed to audiences as they took in the information being “fed” into what was no longer simply the mind of the individual but the shared mind of those who watched and listened. By the mid-1970’s his ideas had well slipped into the intellectual mainstream as evidenced by his appearance as himself in Woody Allen’s Annie Hall in 1977.

In the surreal scene Allen’s character is able to invoke the presence of McLuhan to defend his personal opinion to an annoyingly loud fellow cinephile while they wait to see The Sorrow & The Pity:

“Wait a minute, why can’t I give my opinion? It’s a free country!”
“He can give it… do you have to give it so loud? I mean, aren’t you ashamed to pontificate like that? And the funny part of it is, Marshall McLuhan, you don’t know anything about Marshall McLuhan!”
“Oh, really? Well, it just so happens I teach a class at Columbia called ‘TV, Media and Culture.’ So I think my insights into Mr. McLuhan, well, have a great deal of validity!”
“Oh, do ya? Well, that’s funny, because I happen to have Mr. McLuhan right here, so, so, yeah, just let me —” [Allen pulls McLuhan into Gordon Willis’ frame] “Come over here for a second. tell him!”

“I heard what you were saying! You know nothing of my work! You mean my whole fallacy is wrong. How you got to teach a course in anything is totally amazing!”
Marshall McLuhan stands up for Alvey
Annie Hall
Woody Allen, 1977
Cinematography | Gordon Willis

While more than a few artists latched onto the ideas of Marshall McLuhan so did Film Theory, Philosophy and Journalism majors at universities across the world. But perhaps no intellectual and no artist latched onto McLuhan’s theories than fellow Canadian filmmaker, David Cronenberg.

“Art is anything you can get away with.” — Marshall McLuhan

From the very beginning, David Cronenberg pushed the ideas of Grindhouse Horror further than any other. Certainly, George A. Romero was interested in the ideas around how marketing and consumerism were rendering humans to a zombie like need that could never be fully satisfied.

“What are they doing? Why do they come here?”
“Some kind of instinct. Memory of what they used to do. This was an important place in their lives.”
Zombies roam the mall for live flesh as the new commodity.
Day of the Dead
George A. Romero, 1978
Cinematography | Michael Gornick

But it was Cronenberg who began to translate McLuhan’s ideas into a literal horror involving not only the way in which we think, but the way in which medium-saturated psychology could possibly morph into our biology.

Cronenberg was also way ahead of the cultural curve, when his low-budget gore-fests like 1975’s Shivers and 1977’s Rabid use the idea of sexual appetite and parasites or viruses merging to spread world-wide pandemics. Shivers is focused on a swinging singles apartment complex, but Rabid branches out into the world. A strange sort of gaping slip of a hole appears in the armpit, and the diseased seeks out sex partners to satisfy a painful urge. …and spread a disease.

A perplexing gape of wound appears on the body beautiful. Iconic Porn Star of the day goes legit as the sexy victim of disease which causes her to aggressively spread her sickness…
RABID
David Cronenberg, 1977
Cinematography | René Verzier

As silly as the gore might be in this movies, both carry a cerebral and visceral horror for viewers that remain today. We might giggle at some of the effects, but once these movies end the realization that we have seen two movies that seem to have predicted AIDS is impossible to dismiss. It is of particular interest that Cronenberg sought out the former Ivory Soap Girl turned Porn Superstar, Marilyn Chambers, to play the main carrier of the disease. A once symbol of Purity, Cleanliness & Innocence turned to Hardcore Media Porn Star Sinsation. The medium is the message…

In what can probably be considered Cronenberg’s first truly artistic horror film, 1979’s The Brood offers horror on several levels. In some ways this movie is a horror film about child-like killers. The site of these murderous little demons is delivered in a low-fi but intensely horrifying way.

Brooding literally births avenging demonic child-like killers intent on carrying the medium and message
The Brood
David Cronenberg, 1979
Cinematography | Mark Irwin

On another level, this surprisingly cerebral film offers a horror film related to the clinging fears left over from the 1960’s/1970’s revolutionary changes regarding individual freedoms and a culture in which patriarchal “control” over sexuality, marriage, children and our own individual minds was giving way to something that many felt sinister.

Oliver Reed’s Dr. Hal Raglan is a brilliant and charismatic sort of Psychiatry Guru (or Psychoplasmics Master) who has established a center for emotionally challenged individuals. A wife and mother with serious emotional issues has sought help, but has become a sort of Cult Slave to Dr. Raglan’s mad science experiments involving psychological anger.

Samantha Eggar broods her rage into full-fledged living beings designed to carry out her darkest violent urges.
The Brood
David Cronenberg, 1979
Cinematography | Max Irwin

Played by Samantha Eggar, this woman has learned to channel her rage into her core biology. Dr. Raglan is the medium. The message is an endless rage which morphs into stunted results of psycho-physcial pregnancies. She is not merely brooding anger, resentment and anger at her husband and a daughter who has perhaps prevented her evolution as an individual. No, she is literally brooding a number of angry beings birthed to carry out her inner insane rages. Under the work of the Mad Scientist, she is birthing the medium that seeks to destroy.

“Thirty seconds after you’re born you have a past and sixty seconds after that you begin to lie to yourself about it.”
Grooming a birth of insane rage… Body Horror taken to a whole new level.
The Brood
David Cronenberg, 1979
Cinematography | Max Irwin

The Brood suffers from limited budget, hammy acting and an idea that feels at once brilliant and a bit too silly. But we cannot forget that this is a David Cronenberg. The Brood is more than a partially scary and partially satirical cult movie — it sneaks in under our skin and into our shared thinking. This film lingers long after the comedic elements fade. Esteemed writer, Carrie Rickey, has pointed out that The Brood is also a startling counter-point to Kramer Vs. Kramer.

In 1981’s Scanners, David Cronenberg officially crossed over to mainstream success. No longer limited to Drive-In’s, Midnight Screenings or lower-rate cinemas — Scanners received a wide release.

Disturbing but creative art therapy isn’t enough for corporate interests…
Scanners
David Cronenberg, 1979
Cinematography | Max Irwin

And it not only changed the way we think of Science Fiction Horror, it elevated Cronenberg to a whole new level of artistic acceptance. It can also be closely linked to the ideology of Marshall McLuhan. Although the message is presented to humanity more in the form of 20th Century biochemicals than media. In Cronenberg’s Scanners, Diethylstilbestrol (DES) is not merely a carcinogenic, it has infected fetuses with a new sort of power. Thalidomide not only harms, it too causes a strange psycho-power mutation within infected fetal tissue of mothers treated with these chemicals.

“How do you feel?”
“I feel crystal clear.”
Heads do not roll. They explode.
Scanners
David Cronenberg, 1979
Cinematography | Max Irwin

Suddenly, Cronenberg’s much discussed Body Horror has elevated from human emotion to true biological horror. These infected mothers have given birth to children who have a new horrific telekinesis power. A power that can ultimately be controlled and used as a new kind of weapon. The film is best known for the effect of exploding heads, is actually going much deeper into human fear and horror ideology.

But it would be with Cronenberg’s 1983’s Videodrome that his interests in McLuhan’s teachings and the director’s own personal interest in the horror of the body turning against it’s owner would blend to form the almost perfect mix of Art Horror, Science Fiction, Surrealism and Cultural/Societal commentary.

“First it controls your mind…then it destroys your body”
France’s marketing campaign focused heavily on Debbie Harry
Videodrome
David Cronenberg, 1983
Cinematography | Max Irwin

Max Renn is the burned-out, bored but still ambitious CEO of a small Adults-Only cable company that seems posed to break big in the growing world of cable TV. Renn markets his cable channel as “The one you take to bed with you.” In 1983, audiences would have linked this fictional channel to the likes of Playboy TV or a wide range of latenight-only cable channels that offered soft porn and other provocative topics to it’s viewers.

Just slightly ahead of the game, the VHS industry was really only just starting to take-off across the mainstream. Players were only just starting to come down in price and the middle class had only dipped a few toes into the video-stream. The battle between VHS and BetaMax had not even fully started.

Cyber-Punk Surrealism or Infected Brain Hallucination? James Wood’s is about to receive a whole new kind of “head”
Videodrome
David Cronenberg, 1983
Cinematography | Max Irwin

In the real world, these types of channels were facing a number of obstacles in presenting hardcore sex. It was limited to silly soft-porn movies or carefully edited hardcore sex movies to amped-up R-rated erotica. In Cronenberg’s film Max Renn is eager to push pass the rules. Seemingly latching onto McLuhan’s idea of art being what one can get away with, Renn no longer cares about the rules that restrict him from gaining a competitive edge in the erotic marketplace. His “ethical” stance is flawed. If compared to McLuhan’s concept, Renn has perverted the idea regarding art. For Renn, this is simply business.

Enter the oddly moralistic world of David Cronenberg. Sexuality is a lure that Cronenberg utilizes to pull the audience into his latest exploration in psychological horror. The use of sex is both titillating and perverse. In many ways, Videodrome is Cyber-Punk Horror that dares to call our erotic desires into both cinematic provocation as well as an almost moral judgement.

Cinematic Provocation. A strange group of people can only find sexual pleasure/release at the time of self-inflicted car collisions take place. The scars become more erotic than the body upon which they inflict.
Rosanna Arquette
CRASH
David Cronenberg, 1996
Cinematography | Peter Suschitzky

I stress almost because Cronenberg is expertly exploiting/selling sex as much as he thrusts our prurient interests to a questionable level. This was not the first time nor was it the last that this skilled filmmaker would use sexuality in a perplexing duality of human nature. There is always a strangely moralistic tie in all of Cronenberg’s films. Even in his adaptation of JG Ballard’s CRASH, he would tease the audience with subversive and perverse sexuality to arouse not only very dark eroticism, but to illicit a perverse joy in turning it back on the audience.

One of our first opportunities to understand this character is when we see him as a guest on a local channel chat show. The chat show host is clearly uncomfortable discussing the ever-expanding level of sexual explicitness on television, but she grins and bares it. Max is one of three guests. The second guest is Nicki Brand, played with a gleeful level of subversion by Cultural Icon, Debbie Harry. Nicki, like Max, sells sex. She is selling herself as a sort of Post-Feminist erotic answer to the “outmoded” concepts of Feminist Theory formed by Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem. Her mode of medium is talk radio in which she dishes out pseudo-pop-psychology sexualized advice.

“What about it, Nicki? Is it socially positive?”
“Well, I think we live in overstimulated times. We crave stimulation for its own sake. We gorge ourselves on it. We always want more, whether it’s tactile, emotional or sexual.”
Feminist Theory gets a kink-reboot with Debbie Harry as Nicki Brand.
Videodrome
David Cronenberg, 1983
Cinematography | Max Irwin

Debbie Harry, at her own erotic prime and fame is the perfect actor for this role. At once intellectual and also a rather edgy erotic tease, she is like cat-nip for Max Renn. As the chat show host pulls them into a debate about the dark side of eroticism to the masses, it becomes clear that Nicki Brand isn’t really looking to counter-point Max Renn as much as to simply admit that she is fully aware of the “dangers” but not that concerned with falling prey. As she informs the host, “We live in over-stimulated times.” As Max begins to openly flirt with Nicki, the host is left in an even more comical unease.

She then turns away from her two sex-fueled guest to her scientific expert who refuses to appear on any other media than the television. Taken to a truly literal perspective, Professor Brian O’Blivion appears on a TV sitting on a coffee table by the host. As the increasingly nervous host attempts to interview O’Blivion it quickly becomes apparent that he is not going to fully connect with her.

Marshall McLuhan deconstructed: Dr. Brian O’Blivion only seems to respond…
Videodrome
David Cronenberg, 1983
Cinematography | Max Irwin

He seems to be watching her other two guests, but moves into a sort of intellectual rant about the powers of television media: He begins to offer an almost religious sort of speech that television will soon replace “our” reality. Completely ignoring his host, he begins to almost preach through the screen of his own TV image:

“The battle for the mind of North America will be fought in the video arena: the Videodrome. The television screen is the retina of the mind’s eye. Therefore, the television screen is part of the physical structure of the brain. Therefore, whatever appears on the television screen emerges as raw experience for those who watch it. Therefore, television is reality, and reality is less than television. The television screen is the retina of the mind’s eye.”

David Cronenberg was very clear that his created character of Dr. Brian O’Blivion is based soley on Marshall McLuhan and the esteemed Media Sociologist’s ideas. McLuhan’s teachings, ideas and concepts are all brought to the forefront of this highly entertaining and often disturbing film. While Cronenberg lays it all out in literal and visceral visual terms, nothing actually strays too far from the recently departed McLuhan.

James Woods’ Max Renn develops an odd itchy rash as he watches…
Videodrome
David Cronenberg, 1983
Cinematography | Max Irwin

Played with simultaneous sexy swagger and icky slimed confidence by James Woods, Max deals with the European Erotica Market as well as underground networks of slightly harder-edged porn from Asia. We catch glimpses of the new work he is considering for his channel. From his European connection, the work seems innocently decadent. From the seemingly illegal importation from Asia, the work seems to be a sexualization of ethnic stereotypes that are pushing toward sadistic erotic pleasures. For Max, these new erotica films might offer a bit more in the way of erotic explicitness and controversy — but they are not enough. He is looking for something more “dangerous” and “risky.”

Enter Max’s pal and tech wiz, who manages to catch a Malaysian signal of what appears to be very realistic torture porn. So realistic in presentation, there is a suspicion that what Max is seeing may be a true filming of snuff human cruelty. It is never fully clear to us if Max is fully “OK” with what he sees on a show that seems to be called Videodrome, but it is clear that the sadomasochistic is most definitely turning him on.

In 1983, it was shocking when Debbie Harry is suggested to supply a little bit of BDSM to get Max’s changing body stimulated. In 2015, this medium of BDSM has already become passively engrained within the cultural mind.
Videodrome
David Cronenberg, 1983
Cinematography | Max Irwin

He pushes his tech engineer to find the true origin of the Videodrome signal which turns out to be coming from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Comforting himself by insisting that what he is seeing is a “pretend” electrically-charged clay wall and orange/red floors upon and against which acts of brutal sexual assaults and murders are carried out in realistic but fake ways. Max essentially threatens his libidinous European contact to find the creators of Videodrome to help him secure a deal to air their show. Soon later, his contact tries to soft talk him out of the idea. She advises that what he has been seeing is more than erotic entertainment.

She leans in as informs him that Videodrome has a philosophy. Videodrome is real.

At first Max refuses to believe it. His sexual relationship with Nicki is one linked to pain and punishment. It is all-the-more-hightened by a viewing of Videodrome. In a clever bit of Surrealism, Max and Nicki’s sexual blood-letting morphs out of Max’s condo and onto the wet red floor of the Videodrome set. Hallucinations give way to very real altercations in which Max’s body seems to be changing to fit into the psychology of Videodrome.

“Open up, Max. We have a tape we have a tape we need to play…”
Videodrome
David Cronenberg, 1983
Cinematography | Max Irwin

In one of the film’s many mind-bending special effects, Max begins to develop an itch resulting from what appears at first to be a an enflamed vertical line traveling down his “happy trail” that quickly emerges into a yon-like flesh entry point. Wet and wanting to be fed, this vaginal sort of “wound” becomes a portal in which Max and insidious Bad Guys place guns and breathing-infected videotapes. The pain of this “fleshy slit” also seems to deliver a source of uncomfortable pleasure. Eventually this body morphing develops teeth.

David Cronenberg’s Videodrome is a repulsive, intense and surreal Art Horror masterpiece that must be experienced to fully understand and enjoy. With each scene, the Videodrome transmissions seem to infect Max’s psychology, perception and ultimately his body.

A new point of entry to Max Renn… Body Horror taken to a whole new level.
Videodrome
David Cronenberg, 1983
Cinematography | Max Irwin

The ultimate body horror show, Max must either destroy the evil that is Videodrome and accept the new flesh it has created and take it forward to the next logical step. Many viewers interpret the film in different ways — particularly it’s apocalyptic ending. But it seems to me that David Cronenberg is pushing Marshall McLuhan’s ideology in very literal way. Fully infected by media’s disease, Max must refuse to submit to a vile corporate plan. He must take back what the medium has communicated into his very being.

“Death to Videodrome! Long live the new flesh!”

The Medium turns against you…
Videodrome
David Cronenberg, 1983
Cinematography | Max Irwin

David Cronenberg has not only gotten away with creating a powerful and lasting work of film art, his horror film navigates the audience into a whole different sort of human universe. Video/Analog may have given way to HD/Digital, but the message of the medium is still every bit as worrying to us in 2015 as it was in 1983. The power of media is inescapable now more than ever. Paranoia and the threat of disease is at all time high.

Vidoedrome is far more than a Cult Horror Film Classic, it is a very warped, twisted and disturbing cinematic philosophy not to be be forgotten.

“Death to Videodrome. Long live the New Flesh.” Now, come to Nicki…
Debbie Harry
Videodrome
David Cronenberg, 1983
Cinematography | Max Irwin

Matty Stanfield, 9.28.15

One Way or Another or the Adolescent Tipping Point

“One way or another I’m gonna see ya I’m gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha
One day, maybe next week I’m gonna meetcha, I’ll meetcha And if the lights are all out
I’ll follow your bus downtown see who’s hanging out. One way or another…”

Blondie
NYC | 1978
Photograph | Edo Bertoglio

In October of 1978 many things were changing in my life. I was soon to be 12 years old, I had an awesome new baby brother, my parents were approaching the edge of divorce, and the summer before he arrived I was making friends with a whole new breed of people. Looking back it is a miracle that I survived without ever getting into any heavy trouble. But I suspect most of us look back at 11-14 as a time when things in our lives started to take dramatic shift.

I have always love movies and music. In 1978 a new kind of music was catching my ears and eyes thanks to “FM College Radio, The Rolling Stone, Smash Hits, Circus, Creem and The Midnight Special. It was called “Punk” and it was very quickly morphing into a sort of hybrid called “New Wave” or “No Wave.”

It was around this time I first saw and heard Kate Bush. Her voice and image would stop me in my tracks. If you go to YouTube and seek out Kate Bush’s 1978 Wuthering Heights vid-clip, you will see an impossibly low-fi and over-the-top almost cheezy sort of soft-focus mess. But in 1978, if you were lucky enough to see this clip it was amazing. No one, to my knowledge, had ever heard or seen anything quite like this. The first thing that caught your attention was her voice. Almost ear-splittingly shrill — Kate Bush’s voice could soar so far into the atmosphere and then pummel back down with a low tonal quality that was at once beautiful, discordant and disturbing. The music itself was melodic and catchy. Then the visual.

“Out on the wiley, windy moors we’d roll and fall in green. You had a temper, like my jealousy. Too hot, too greedy. How could you leave me when I needed to possess you? I hated you, I loved you too…”
Kate Bush
Withering Heights promo vid-clip, 1978

We did not yet know Kate Bush. She would quickly become known as “reclusive,” eccentric,” “mysterious” and not an artist particularly interested in jetting her way around the globe promoting her work. When we heard she would be on MTV, it turned out to be an odd sort of vid-clip. What Kate Bush was doing would soon become a major part of our culture. This was the very early MTV kind of thing that would evolve it’s way toward oblivion.

“Bad dreams in the night. They told me I was going to lose the fight. Leave behind my Wuthering, Wuthering
Wuthering Heights…”
Kate Bush
Wuthering Heights
Vid-Clip, 1978

But seeing Kate Bush in this initial video was an odd experience. You saw a thin and clearly beautiful girl. She never seemed to blink. She was constantly moving. At times graceful and at other times almost threateningly pounding the ground. In some clips she would be outside in a red flowing sort of long dress, but most times she would be in a long flowing white dress. Either time she would begin jumping, twirling, spinning and summersaulting into soft-focus blurred visual-echo-effect. At time she would twirl about that all you could really see was a blurry white mass.

“Heathcliff, it’s me, Cathy Come home! I’m so cold, let me in your window.
Ooh, it gets dark, it gets lonely on the other side from you…”
Kate Bush
Wuthering Heights
Vid-clip, 1978

It was altogether different and strange. It was not Rock. It was not Punk. It was not New Wave. For her first three albums Kate Bush simply did not fit in. For lack of any other label, she was assigned “Prog-Rock.” But she was a game-changer. But, although she shook me ’round. It would be a couple of more years before I would actually enter a Sam Goody and request a copy of her albums be ordered for me.

Kate Bush
The Kick Inside, 1978
Photograph | Jay Myrdal
Art Direction / Design
Splash Studio, John Carder Bush & Del Palmer

It was also around this time that I began to pay closer attention to the this band called The Patti Smith Group. Of course, KISS was already in my subconscious and my mind was constantly in battle over Disco vs. Rock. This debate was a heavy topic on my “new” friends‘ conversations. The movie, Grease, was immediately deemed “uncool.”

“Do ya think I’m sexy?”
Rod Stewart holding tightly to Cher, slips into disco, 1978
Photograph | Claude Mougin

The Bee Gees were “soul-less hacks” and Rod Stewart has “sold out.”

I hid my Captain & Tennille, Andy Gibb, Saturday Night Fever and Donna Summer records. I did not mention them. Everyone knew I loved Barbra Streisand. This was accepted. In some way my defense of Streisand earned me points. I didn’t care what anyone thought. I was possessed. And it was considered very cool that I was the only one of the “clan” who had seen The Exorcist, A Star Is Born, Saturday Night Fever and Carrie in the cinema. I was asked to discuss all three movies in depth. The idea being that if I explained what I saw, then they too could claim to have seen them.

If you have a taste for terror…
Carrie
Brian De Palma, 1976

Being 11 going on 12, it was not always easy to find or secure the records of these new voices. The same was true for some of these cool people who were a few years older than me. I had known them for years. This were the kids who chased me and other friends around the local park and elementary school yard. Now they were in Jr. High and a couple had siblings in high school. These connections were not solid, but they offered adventure and access to the sonic treasures I needed. I was considered cool because I already had a Blondie album, Plastic Letters, and Radio Ethiopia by The Patti Smith Group. I can’t even recall how I landed these albums. I also had a growing collection of both Creem and Circus magazines that I had wrangled both my Grandmother and strange father into buying for me.

Pissing in the River and Poetic Rebellion — Welcome to NYC PUNK.
Patti Smith Group
Radio Ethiopia, 1976
Photograph | Robert Mapplethorpe

Yeah, man. I was a cool 11 year-old. Though, I had The Patti Smith Group album since I was 9.

One night something came on The Midnight Special, Wolfman Jack’s voice introduced what would turn out to be a video of Blondie. The impossibly cool group of people seemed trapped in some sort of empty dance studio with a big disco ball being passes about. This was totally cool and yet disturbing. Of course this was the very early days of the music vid-clip that would soon take over my generations’ lives. The disturbing element was that Debbie Harry and friends were lip-synching to a disco song! Debbie Harry’s once-heavily sprayed hair was now sloppy-cut shorter. She still seemed sullen and teasingly bored as she “sang” that what had been a gas was really nothing but a Heart of Glass.

“Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find
Mucho mistrust, love’s gone behind…”
Blondie
Heart of Glass, 1978
Photograph | Martyn Goddard

I shall not lie. I loved it. But I was hesitant to openly admit it. The next day, a Sunday I believe. Me and my actual friend, and the only other person under 13 were huddled with the others. Scoring cigarettes, beer or weed and the topic of Blondie’s Heart of Glass were the main conversation points. One kid spouted out an angry opinion that Blondie, like Rod Stewart, had sold out and only KISS and The Stones were truly cool. When a couple of others mentioned Led Zeppelin and Fleetwood Mac, they were “shhhh’d.”

But then the coolest of us all (and the eldest) stood up, pushed out her ever growing boobs harnessed in by a way cool and far too-tight Who baseball jersey and stated, “Heart of Glass is a reaction against the stupidity of Disco. It is New Wave. It is even cooler than anything KISS will ever do!”

Now, I and my friend were only allowed into this circle because we were willing to run errands and stuff. We were allowed cigarettes and some weed but that was all. We were seldom allowed to speak. We were just lucky to be there. Everything grew very quiet. This girl, I shall call her “X” had just made an assertion that threatened the cool of KISS! Everyone sat slack-jawed at the 15 year old girl scowled at the the 14 year old boy who the self-imposed leader of this lame little gang. Even the leader didn’t know how to respond to X.

For those of you too young to remember or too old that you might have forgot:

KISS was starting to lose some cred. They were on the same record label as The Village People. And while we knew it was coming — nothing could prepare us for the serious “lame” of their infamous TV Movie, KISS Meet the Phantom of the Park. It was with this television special that KISS would seriously loose it’s cool for quite a while and became more popular with little kids. KISS was about to fully “sell out.”

The KISS Solo Albums are on the way! And don’t miss the spectacular Action Movie, “KISS Meets The Phantom” …wished we could have missed it. KISS was about to stop being cool for a very long time.

At any rate, there was a growing vibe against the cool of KISS, yet it was not fully articulated. Although we were eagerly awaiting the TV Movie and the solo albums that we knew were headed our way.

I remember taking a deep breath. I was the first one to speak after X made the shocking statement.

“X is right. I mean, Circus and Creem are calling Blondie the coolest. Creem even called their new song ‘No Wave.'”– this was particularly bold of me because I didn’t understand the difference between New Wave or No Wave — and, to be honest, Heart of Glass sure sounded like standard Disco to me. I had already sort of worked my way up the ladder of this group of older kids. Largely because I had a big mouth and refused to show fear or intimidation. I, alone, had stood up for Fleetwood Mac’s TUSK and boldly stated that no one should ever speak against Led Zeppelin. And, I still stand by those opinions. However this debate would continue for a few weeks.

Then at the beginning of fall of 1978 a major event took place:

The Rolling Stones’ Some Girls, The Kiss Solo Projects and Blondie’s Parallel Lines albums all came out at about the same time! And none of us had them!

The Columbia House ads had not yet posted these three albums to their loop of “Get 11 albums for a Dollar!” campaign.

Would you believe? 13 Records or Tapes for only $1!!!!!!!

This was a marketing gambit that all of us, and probably you, took full advantage of with fake names hoping your parents would not beat you to the mail. Columbia House would attempt to chase us down well into the 1990’s to no avail. Odd marketing strategy that escapes reason even all these years later. How many record collections were started thanks to Columbia House? Anyway, The Stones & KISS & Blondie were not yet articulated as a part of the Columbia House Marketing Concept.

You’re in for something fresh…

A few days later, my same-aged pal — I will call him “J” — and fellow member of this mis-formed clique, was at Albertsons with his mom he made a magical discovery! Now our Albertsons was obsessed with stamping out all competition. They even opened up a “Record Department” for a shot while. J grabbed me and we went straight over to let everyone know what J had discovered.

Albertsons was selling The Stones’ Some Girls, 2 of the 4 Kiss Solo albums and Blondie’s Parallel Lines for $5.99 each!!!

KISS Gene Simmons
Solo Album, 1978
Painting | Eraldo Carugati
Featuring the likes of Helen Reddy and Donna Summer. KISS just lost it’s cool…

Now at this time my brother had just been born. My house was in a constant state of confusion. So it was easy to slip out and do things I wanted to do. X arranged to get a ride in her older brother’s car. It was decided that she and I would go and purchase the records. X held the money, but I already had a $5 bill and almost $2.80 in change. I was determined to get a copy of Parallel Lines.

X’s brother was a jerk. X declared him lame. True enough, he was playing the Mary MacGregor 8-Track as we drove to Albertsons. As she crooned about being torn between two lovers I innocently told X’s brother than my mother had this tape. X started laughing and slipped her hand back for me to give her “five.”

Like only a little sister can, she leaned forward to her brother and teased, “Wow, you are sooooo cool! Matty’s mom likes this too!”

X’s brother exhaled, ripped the tape out and replaced it with a Leo Sayer 8-Track. This reaction made both X and me laugh.

Blondie
Parallel Lines, 1978
Photograph | Edo Bertoglio

We rushed into the side entrance of Albertsons past the huge magazine and book racks and went straight to the shiny new Record Department. I grabbed my copy of Parallel Lines as X grabbed several copies of each album. I rushed to the cashier stand. The lady rang me up. I paid her. She then took out a box-cutter and sliced the shrink wrap open and placed a huge blue “Albertsons” sticker on my valued treasure! I was outraged!

“No! I don’t want that sticker!”

“Sorry, Kid-O. Store policy.”

X stood up for me, “Hey, he paid for that and you’re ruining the record!”

“Hon, it’s just a sticker. That way we know it was paid for.”

X stood her ground. “He doesn’t want that record now. He wants a different copy without your lame sticker. He is paying. We are going to leave right after you ring me up.”

“Look, Miss Smarty-Pants, any record anybody buys here is going to get a sticker on it! Now you stop giving me lip, Missy!”

X signaled for me to take my “damaged” album. She handed her slew to the bitch behind the counter.

“My oh my! This is a lot of records!”

The demented shrew proceeded to slash the shrink wrap and place the blue sticker on each copy. She even tore the Stones’ specially designed album cover’s cut-outs. But she didn’t pay attention to X’s protests.

As we walked back outside toward her brother and his suspicious music tastes, X turned to me. She took my cope of Parallel Lines and ordered:

“Go back in there, pick up a new copy of the Blondie record and pick up a new copy of the Gene Simmons record. We’ll be waiting outside the side door. That bitch is not gonna mess up our albums!”

I told her no. That I didn’t want to get into trouble for stealing. Clearly, X wasn’t going to do this. She was going to make me do it for her.

“You are not stealing. You are taking what is ours! She won’t notice you. You’re a kid. You look innocent. Just do it”

“NO!”

And then she hit me where I lived.

“If you don’t do it, I will make sure that you and J are miserable until I graduate from high school! No shit! I mean it!”

This served as a sort of Tipping Point toward the pending teenage rebellion.

I was terrified. But as I walked into the store, passed the magazine and book racks my fears turned into a sort of dared energy. I was walking fast, but with purpose. I suddenly saw the sweet looking Albertsons lady at the counter as My Enemy. This is probably the biggest trick to shoplifting: I didn’t hesitate or act like I was trying to hide anything.

I simply walked up, pulled both of these albums out of their respective cubbies, turned and walked out of the store. X, her brother and his car were waiting just outside the side entrance. I got in and handed her the Gene Simmons album. I held my Blondie album close to my chest. I was not caught and my cool prestige was knocked up several notches.

12 Pulsating Tracks! Parallel Lines is circulating round in circles at your nearest record shop!
Blondie
Parallel Lines Advert
1978

I would soon start working for a donut shop and would lose touch with everyone of X’s team. I’d also lose contact forever with J.

And, about 12 years later I would present my baby brother with the the few albums I did not sell to pay for my voyage out of Texas to Boston. It was January of 1991 when I sat down with my brother and explained the importance of The Beatles, John Lennon, Fleetwood Mac and Blondie. I was worried he might face the wrath of our mother if I left him with any Patti Smith, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd or Who albums. I sold those. Although, I might have given him a Stones, Doors and maybe even one Pink Floyd album. I can’t remember.

Anyway, I think the records I gave him pushed him toward the Greater Cool. At least, it felt like it. I hope they did. And I hope he never had to steal. That one time in the early fall of 1978 was the last time I stole. Well, sort of. Leave me alone!

“Well, I’ve been haunted in my sleep. You’ve been staring in my dreams.
Lord I miss you. I’ve been waiting in the hall.
Been waiting on your call. When the phone rings. It’s just some friends of mine that say,
“Hey, what’s the matter man? We’re gonna come around at twelve with some Puerto Rican girls that are just dyin’ to meet you! We’re gonna bring a case of wine. Hey, let’s go mess and fool around. You know, like we used to…”
The Rolling Stones slip into a bit of disco…
Some Girls, 1978